Is S ex with a Doll Cheating?


Businessman Pieter Steenkamp* of Bedfordview in Johannesburg has forked out thousands of rands to buy a sex doll to satisfy himself sexually — and peacefully.

“I call her Madre. She’s perfect and I keep her in my office.”

He says she helps him relieve stress. “I grab my whisky and tell Madre about my bad day. She never says anything negative.”

Steenkamp has developed a relationship with the doll and says he takes great care of her. “I respect her. I clean her and make sure she’s happy at all times.”

“I have had her for four weeks now. She has been amazing so far. My wife is a nag. I get tired of her nagging. I still have sex with her but not as much because she normally complains about fatigue. Madre doesn’t,” he says.

The 42-year-old says he would rather sleep with Madre than cheat and get attached. “I’m married in community of property, if I cheat and get caught, I have a lot to lose.”

But could sex dolls, or high-tech sexbots, really help to curb infidelity? And, is having intercourse with a doll harmless fun, or should it be considered the same as cheating on your partner with a real woman?

Clinical sexologist Dr Eve says the creation of sexbots is artificial technology taken to a new level that terrifies her.

“Though they were created to enhance fantasy, I’m terrified by the idea. Here you are with someone so perfect, someone you can programme and make them have intimacy with you in the shape that you want, it is terrifying,” she says.

“You have sex with them when you want; they don’t have a say. We are currently facing problems on consent in marriages and relationships and these dolls are also going to programme men and women to think that in real life you can subject someone to such abuse.”

When asked if sex dolls may be able to curb cheating, Dr Eve says absolutely not.

“I think finding out that your partner is having sex with a doll more than he or she does with you may even hurt many [people].