“Yes, yes, YES! I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m … crying?”
It is common for women to cry during sex but the big question is why?
In most cases, people associate crying with sadness or pain however during sex, crying can be a totally different emotion.
Women cry during sex because it is a way of showing appreciation of the moment.
Some people cry when they are happy and these tears are called “tears of joy”, this feeling is the same feeling women have during sex.
There are other several reasons women cry during sex , here are a few:
She is in pain.
A number of women have admitted to feeling pain during sex but not being able to open up to their partner and letting them know that they are hurting them.
Some women feel that by letting their partner know that they are in pain, they will hurt their feelings
Her emotions are all over the place.
It is a known fact that besides sex being physical, it also triggers a lot of emotions.
Imagine having sex and you are going through some emotionally stressing situations that you cannot even block out during sex? The tears will definitely flow.
She has had a bad experience before.
If a woman has had a bad experience with sex in the past, having sex can trigger those emotions while having sex.
You feel super-connected
Sometimes, there are no words for how deeply connected you feel to your partner. Instead, there are tears, Dr Nasserzadeh says. “If sex is a way of deep connection with a partner, your body might choose this form of release to communicate your emotions,” she says.
That’s pretty typical, Wright adds, since sex releases oxytocin, and oxytocin promotes bonding, trust, and empathy. “It’s easy to feel safe to release emotions that may have been bottled up for whatever reason,” she says.
Did a relative or pet die recently? Or perhaps you got laid off or, heck, you’re still not over your last breakup. Grief can strike anywhere – walking down the sidewalk, in the middle of work meeting, or, yep, mid-romp.
It hurts so good
Tears can also strike due to the type of pain you asked for in the form of (consensual) choking, spanking, slapping or getting tied up.
“Both physical pain and pleasure activate the same part of the brain,” Wright says, “so it’s totally possible to be crying from pain and be enjoying it at the same time.”
You’re ashamed or feeling guilty
Dr Nasserzadeh has worked with women who tell her they’ve cried during sex because they don’t feel like they “deserve” to take a moment to enjoy themselves. “They feel like, as a mother, they should be focusing on their child and not on self-pleasuring,” she says.
PSA though: You cannot take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself. “If you’re feeling shame around sex or intimacy in general, and it comes out in the form of tears, it’s a good indicator to explore that shame outside of the bedroom and see what it’s about,” Wright adds.
You’re so happy!
Maybe you’ve had a seriously long dry spell, or maybe sex just has never been that fun or enjoyable to you. “If you’ve never had (or rarely had) satisfying sexual interactions, it might be so wonderful that tears would be a sign of gratitude, joy or happiness,” Dr Nasserzadeh says. Let ‘em flow, let ‘em flow, let ‘em flow!
Maybe you’re a survivor of sexual assault, or maybe something a little off happened once that you thought you’d forgotten. Cue sex to remind you. “Trauma gets so deeply embedded in our minds and memory that it’s hard to remember exactly what happened and something [sex] will bring it up,” McGuire says. Stop having sex if you feel like your brain and body are dissociating, if painful memories are coming up, or you feel out of control, Wright advises.
Crying during sex can be embarrassing for some women but there are ways one can try to overcome this feeling.
Try controlling your breathing during sex.
Controlling your breathing can help you relax and therefore help you enjoy the process.
Breathing exercises can also help by letting the mind relax and making it easier for the body to take charge of the sensation.